QUOTES

Mulder: (Moans) "They're here! They're here!" ---

Langly: "We're screwed. Thank you so much for getting me involved in this, doo-hickey."
Frohike: "It's Frohike, you hippie jerk."
Langly: "Doo-hickey!"
Frohike: "You know, with that long blond hair, you'll be the first one in here that gets traded for cigarettes; I'm gonna be laughing my ass off."
Langly: "Oh yeah, you wanna Cha-Cha?" (Starts pulling his jacket off)
Frohike: "Any time, any place" (Also the jacket starts coming off)
Byers: "Both of you relax!"
Langly: "Shut up, ya Nark!"
Frohike: "It's your fault we're here!" ---

Munch: "Yeah, well, Special Agent . . . Mulder? Is currently being held in 5-point restraint jabbering like a monkey. So what I'm looking at here is a warehouse breakin but nothing's stolen, a shoot-out but no guns, lots of blood but no bodies, an FBI agent wants to take off all his clothes and talk about space aliens." ---

Byers: "Before the assassination my parents were going to name me Bertram."
Munch: "Lucky you." ---

Byers: "Hey guys! Like a button?"
Pedestrian: "Up yours, Nark!" --

Frohike: "Helllllo, pretty lady!" ---

Langly: (Butting in and referring to Frohike Electrical Corporation) "There's a name that inspires consumer confidence." Frohike: "Shut up, punk. Where were we?"
Langly: "Hey lady, if you want to watch Matlock with Andy Griffith all blue and squiggly go right ahead and buy it from this guy. You want quality bootleg cable, you talk to me."
Frohike: "You want a converter that will short out and burn your house down, DEFINITELY talk to this guy."
Langly: (Though woman has walked away) "That was a 1-time fluke! I heat sink every breadboard."
Frohike: "Ah, what about coax laws? Do you use the RG-6U or the 52-MRGH?"
Langly: "Trick question! It's the 99-13!" Frohike: "Big man . . ."
Langly: (Seeing Byers go by, coughs) "NARK!" ---

Byers: "Hack into?!? No! I mean I work for the FCC. This is the kind of thing we're trying to stop!" ---

Frohike: "You look like a gentleman who'll appreciate 33 channels of crystal clear television."
Mulder: "No thanks, handsome."
Frohike: "Ah, a man of distinction! (Mulder walks away) Punk-ass . . ." ---

Byers: (narration) "It was at this point we enlisted the help of one . . . Melvin Frohike. Computer hacker."
Frohike: (woman appears at his shoulder) "Well, helllllo pretty lady! (she pulls drapes closed) Oh . . . yeah! (Byers now appears) What's with the NARK?" ---

Byers: (narration) "It was at this point, however, that Mr. Frohike raised . . . an interesting question."
Frohike: "I don't understand. Why don't you just kick this guy's ass?"
Suzanne: "No. I just want these pages decoded. Can you do that?"
Frohike: "Sure, baby. My Kung Fu is the best . . ." ---

Frohike: (Seeing Mulder) "This dude doesn't look so tough!" ---

Display: "They're here! Alien invaders are among us. Detect their presence with high-tech mind products. Detect them, before they detect you . . ."
Mulder: (Picks up gizmo, alarm sounds) "Sorry!" ---

Mulder: (Confronts Byers with Frohike behind him) "Hey, you with the FCC?"
Frohike: "What's it to you?"
Mulder: "I think we share the same credit union. (Flashes out badge) Special Agent Fox Mulder." ---

Ken: (after being hauled off in handcuffs) "C'mon! All I did was play Dig Dug! I've got like a circulatory problem . . . I have a tendency to fall down a lot!" ---

Byers: "You're talking about a pre-meditated crime against the United States government!"
Frohike: "Hey . . . your second one of the day! (Pulls off his FCC badge) Welcome to the dark side." ---

Byers: (Is shown the computer equipment) "What does this do?"
Frohike: "Besides overheat and burn the hotel down?" ---

Langly: "Government hack is a snap. Last week I got into the Maryland DMV. Changed my endorsement so I could handicap park. (Gets look from Byers) I got tinitus." ---

Frohike: "Now I'm sorry. You're telling me that the United States government, the same government that gave us Amtrak . . ."
Langly: "Not to mention the Susan B Anthony dollar . . ."
Frohike: "Is behind some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the planet?!? That's like . . . crazy!"
Langly: "I mean, like THIS guy works for the government!" ---

Mulder: (Sees guys as aliens under drugs) "They're here!" ---

Frohike: "Byers, I swear to god I'll shoot you myself."
Byers: "It's all true what Suzanne said about you, isn't it? About John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Dallas?"
X: "I heard it was a lone gunman." ---

Munch: "Do I look like Geraldo? Don't lie to me like Geraldo, I'm not Geraldo!" ---

Langly: "Your molar-pulling girlfriend roped us then left us hanging in the breeze!" ---

Munch: "Here's a tip: aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and it blocks out the government's mind control rays. Keep you guys out of trouble." ---

Byers: "The truth is . . . none of us is safe. Secret elements within the US government seek to survey us and control our lives . . ."
Mulder: "What?!?!?"
Frohike: "Tell him about the hotel bibles . . ."