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X Files Episodes

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Detour 5 x 04
Episode: Detour   Episode Number: 5x04   Tagline: The Truth is Out There


Mulder: (during a teamwork drive)"Kill me now . . ." ---

Male Agent: "I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word 'but'."
Mulder: "I'm having that same problem right now . . ." ---

Girl Agent: "Have you ever been to team seminar, Agent Mulder?"
Mulder: "No! You know, unfortunately around this time of the year I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition." ---

Mulder: (Getting out of the car) "Thank you, Jesus!" ---

Mulder: "How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?"
Scully: "You want me to tell them you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar."
Mulder: "You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that -- unspoken. You know what I'm thinking." ---

Mulder: "Who cut the cheese?"
Scully: "Since you won't be making it to the conference . . ."
Mulder: "Par-tay!"
Scully: "However, I must remind you, this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment."
Mulder: "Try any of that Tailhook crap on me Scully, and I'll kick your ass."
Scully: "You know, Mulder, sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea." Mulder: "I'll be back soon, and we can build a tower of furniture." ---

Scully: "Mulder, we're in Western Florida. The closest thing to primitive down here is living in a beachfront retirement condo." ---

Scully: "You're putting me on . . ."
Mulder: "No, my dad and I were Indian guides. I know these things." ---

Scully: "It sure is beautiful, though."
Guide: "That's what happens. People get to looking around. Next thing they know, something eats them." ---

Guide: "If we become blinded by the beauty of nature we may fail to see its cruelty and violence."
Scully: "Walt Whitman?"
Guide: "No, When Animals Attack on the Fox Network." ---

Mulder: "Don't shoot unless you're sure you'll hit it. It may be trying to spend our advantage."
Scully: "What the hell is it, Mulder?"
Mulder: "Whatever it is, it's smarter than we are. At least out here."---

Mulder: They separated us; that was on purpose. They divided us so they could go after her. She was in the lead and presumably the stongest. They take the strongest first.
Glaser: They take them where? That doesn't make any sense . . .---

Mulder: "They became known as the Moth Men. I got an X-File dated back to 1952 on them."
Scully: "What would that be filed next to? The Cockroach that ate Cincinnati?"
Mulder: "No, the Cockroach that ate Cincinnati is in the C's. The Moth Men is over in the M's." ---

Scully: (Trying to light the fire) "You were an Indian guide, help me out here."
Mulder: "Indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches."
Scully: "I would but I left my wallet in the car." ---

Scully: "If I can separate the shell from the casing maybe I can get the powder to ignite."
Mulder: "Eh, and maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows."
Scully: "Do I detect a hint of negativity?"
Mulder: "No! Yes. Yeah." ---

Mulder: "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked."
Scully: "Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky." ---

Scully: "You ever thought seriously about dying?"
Mulder: "Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades." ---

Mulder: "If you're lucky you get 75 years. If you're really lucky you get 80 years. And if you're extraordinarily lucky you get to have 50 of those years with a decent head of hair." ---

Mulder: "Go, girl." ---

Mulder: "Hey, who did you identify with as a kid? Wilma or Betty?"
Scully: "I identified with Betty's bustline."
Mulder: "Yes! I did too." ---

Mulder: "I don't want to wrestle."
Scully: "Get over here. I'm going to try and keep you warm." ---

Mulder: "One of us has got to stay awake, Scully."
Scully: "You sleep Mulder."
Mulder: "If you get tired, you wake me."
Scully: "I'm not going to get tired."
Mulder: "Why don't you sing something?"
Scully: "No, Mulder."
Mulder: "Sing something so I know you're awake."
Scully: "You don't want me to sing Mulder. I can't carry a tune."
Mulder: "It doesn't matter--just sing anything."
Scully: (Pauses) "Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine Never understood a single word he said But I helped him drink his wine . . ."
Mulder: "Chorus . . ." Scully: "Joy . . . to the world... All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me . . ." ---

Mulder: "You all right?"
Scully: "Yeah. I landed on soft dirt . . . kind of." ---

Mulder: (on the building body pile) "Too bad we don't have any office furniture."
Scully: "I can see us now . . . there's plenty more bodies but there ain't no honey-baked ham."
Mulder: "Go team!" ---

Guy Agent: "You're just making this up!"
Mulder: "Why do you say that?"
Guy Agent: "Cause you work on the X-files and . . . you just want to write off your hotel room!"

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