QUOTES

Byers: My name is John Fitzgerald Byers. I was named after our 35th president, and I keep having this beautiful dream. In my dream, the events of November 22nd, 1963, never happened. In it, my namesake was never assassinated. Other things are different, too, in my dream. My country is hopeful and innocent; young again. Young in spirit. My fellow citizens trust their elected officials, never once having been betrayed by them. My government is truly "of the people, by the people, for the people." All my hopes for my country, for myself . . . all are fulfilled. I have everything a person could want: home and family . . . and love. Everything that counts for anything in life . . . I have it. But the dream ends the same way every time. I lose it all. ---

Glasses Man: Bring your wife?
Bald Man: You think I'm sitting here, I'd bring my wife? Dumb ass brought his wife.
Bearded Man: 'Cause I'm the man; I say I'm playing poker, I play poker. Meanwhile, your wife is back in Plano, boinking the mailman. ---

Langly: Three thousand dollars . . . I told you to fold. It should have been me in there playing, why does Byers get to do the undercover?
Frohike: 'Cause this ain't Woodstock. ---

Frohike: Yeah, well I'm gonna go way out on a limb here and say, it's the t-shirt.
Langly: Yeah, maybe both of you could wear one that says "I'm with stupid." ---

Byers: I almost won. Frohike: Yeah, you and everyone else. ---

Mulder's Voice: It's the Lone Gunmen. They're onto something big.
Scully: What, exactly?
Mulder's Voice: It's really important. Trust me.
Scully: Yeah, I trust you, Mulder, it's the Three Stooges I'm not so sure about. ---

Byers: It was her. She's here. I've got to find her! Frohike: You've gotta find some ice, you need a drink. ---

Langly: Doo-doo, kaa-kaa, poo-poo.
Jimmy: Oh, go brush your hair, Michael Bolton. ---

Langly: What if "they" did something to him? You know, to make him pancake himself?
Scully: Who's "they?"
Langly: You know, "them." ---

Scully: What happened?
Langly: I'm thinking that you got a little queasy and took a header. You know blood and guts can bother some people.
Scully: Yeah, I guess.
Langly: You gonna be alright?
Scully: Sure, cutie. ---

Langly: So . . . you're done with Jimmy?
Scully: Done, done, done. How do you roll this thing?
Langly: Uhhhm, Scully? What killed him?
Scully: My medical opinion? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Langly: And that's all you found?
Scully: That's all I know. ---

Langly: Autopsy was negatory. Jimmy squished himself.
Frohike: And where is the scrumptious Agent Scully? ---

Frohike: They're just lucky I got a conscience.
Langly: How's that?
Frohike: If I unleashed my true kung-fu on this casino, I could break the bank within a week.
Langly: And find yourself buried under six feet of desert dirt. ---

Fletcher: Cigarette?
Frohike: You don't smoke.
Scully: But who's got a match?
(In less than a second, a dozen lighters pop in front of her.)
Well . . . I just can't decide who lights my fire. ---

(As Frohike pulls Scully away, Fletcher says his goodbyes.) Fletcher: We could have been stardust. Scully: Maybe next time. (Scully gives Fletcher one good slap on the ass before Frohike finally pulls her away.) ---

Frohike: (quietly to Scully) Good work, party girl. ---

Timmy: You know the best thing about killing you three . . . I won't have to dress like you anymore . . . ( Byers uses the injector gun on his ankle, shooting him up. He falls on Byers.)
Byers: Oh, get him off me.
Timmy: (delirious, to Langly) Hi, cutie . . . ---

Scully: (on her cellphone, shouting) Hello, Mulder? Can you hear me? I'm at the hotel. Where are you? What do you mean, "what hotel," Las Vegas. I'm in Las Vegas, aren't you? You called me. What do you mean you didn't call me? Oh man, I am gonna kick their asses. ---

Frohike: So you wanna hit the slots?
Langly: You know, Byers, growing old with us ain't so bad.
Frohike: Oh, shut up, Langly. You really want him to kill himself?
Langly: Got any quarters?